Confessions of the Broken

A friend/classmate of mine shared this video on Facebook. I think the girl is really brave and talks about the things that every girl is fighting with. It inspired me.
We want to be loved. We want to be wanted. We try so hard. Every day. Everything that seems to matter is how we look. How much we weight. Where we come from. And who we hang out with.

If we are to skinny one of the first questions will always be: “Are you anorexic?”. NO! We are not! We are eating perfectly well! Of course they think we are not aware of us being anorexic. But I can assure you that we are perfectly fine. Keep your opinions to yourself!
And what about the girl that is just a bit more chubby than those “normal” people. So what?! Did you ever think that maybe – just maybe – she likes herself that way? Did you know that being a bit overweight is actually healthier than being all muscle and no fat?
Doing sports is good. Just don’t judge those that prefer a book, making music, drawing or simply living. Some of us just don’t like to move around like their life depended on it. Because we enjoy our life the way it is. Or at least we try to.

We try so hard! We try to feel accepted. To feel like WE matter. And not whether we wear Chanel or Gucci or whatever the “latest fashion” dictates. Fashion should be about enhancing our personality. Not about brands. Those are just names!
So what, if we wear all black or have neon hair. Dreadlocks. Piercings. Tattoos. Straight hair. Curly. Short. Long. No hair at all. You don’t like it. Well, here is a message:

I don’t care. I do not care if you don’t like me because of my hair or clothes. You don’t know me! You did not even bother with getting to know me! The real me. The one who broke because you gossiped behind my back.

We try to tell our selves that we don’t care what others think about us. That we do not care about all the mean and hateful things people like you, who are superficial, who only care about themselves and how others might benefit them in getting what they want. Guess what? You will die alone. You might seem to be surrounded by friends and family. But do you really think they cared about you? They only cared as much about you as you cared about them.
One day you will die surrounded by strangers. Shadows of your life.

And the girl or boy you made fun off? They are long dead because they couldn’t take the hate the world threw at them. The endless jabs and beatings they took from people that could not accept who they were. People who didn’t even bother to take a closer look at those they deemed worthless. Until their heart stopped beating. Their lifeless bodies in a pool of blood. Eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. Filled with tears. And regret. That they weren’t born into a peaceful life.
Could you live with the guilt? The unbearable guilt of being responsible for some else`s death. Could you?

Some of us. The scorned. The misunderstood. The shunned. We can. One day it makes “click”. It clicks and we decide: Why are you more worth then me? Right. You aren’t. You are not more worth than me! And I’ll make you suffer. And you will beg us to spare your life. And you will ask: Why are you doing this? And our answer will be: Because of you. Then we pull the trigger.
Did it ever occur to you that we had deep, deep dungeons in our hearts? Dungeons filled with hate and the ability to kill in cold blood. Filled with every negative and cruel thought we ever had because people like you made us feel like that.
And one day. One day the dungeons are filled. Filled to the brink with hatred. The hatred that took the place of our smiles. Of our ability to love. We are not able to love anymore. What is love anyway?
This hatred breaks free and swallows what little reasoning we had left. A black nothing envelops us. And the next time we open our eyes there is blood on our hands. And carnage litters our way. We forgot to feel. We feel nothingness. And one day we will end it. End it all.

We just want to be accepted. For who we are. Please don’t turn us, who we were innocent, into psychopaths. Is that so hard?

“Death is easy, peaceful. Life is harder.” – Stephenie Meyer

—Kitsune

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Published by: Kitsune

I love art of any kind as long as it doesn't involve a long-winded explanation about what it should represent or not. Thus I love to draw. Be it pencil on paper, digital or on a canvas. Of course I'm nowhere near the level of some artists in the world but I like to think that I'm steadily improving. I like reading and drinking tea but also go out if I have the oppurtunity and the right company. I'm a night person which is also the reason why most of my posts are written and published around 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. in the night.

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